This has been a pretty hellish week. It started off with the haze of not getting what I wanted because I stuck to my guns. Let's face it, I've never been one to compromise.

Then I had a co-worker scream at me from my office door because she did something she shouldn't have and I called her on it. Yes, she screamed at me within earshot of clients - you know, rape survivors who come to my office for a supportive and safe environment. Yeah, she's that sensitive and professional.

The kicker was that I had to later apologize to the unprofessional idiot because I needed budget information from her and she's handling all that. And she never apologized to me for screaming at me, inappropriately and unnecessarily in front of clients. And she was supported by the interim CEO, who is obnoxious, rude, mean-spirited, two-faced and rather passive-aggressive. She apparently laughed at my getting screamed at. I may be posting unflattering things about her on my blog, but then again I'm not the one creating a hostile work environment. A competent leader would have told the unprofessional idiot that her behavior was inappopriate and, no matter how justified she felt she was, that kind of carrying on would not be tolerated in a work environment. Then she should have told us that we both made errors and that we both needed to work together and the only way we could do that effectively would be to admit our errors, apologize and move on. But our interim CEO is clearly not a competent leader. She's apparently taking her cues from the Mean Girls Management Guide.

It's also just been a hellishly busy week with two major events, grant deadlines and a major fundraiser at the end of the month. Anyone want to buy a raffle ticket from me?

All this is contributing to my desire to make good on my vow to leave Tucson at my earliest convenience. The professional opportunities clearly aren't here for me. And if the interim CEO is what passes for "professional" around these parts, I'm not so sure I'd want that kind of opportunity.

When I found out I didn't get the statewide job, I was also told that I should keep applying for those kinds of positions because I clearly had the energy and the vision to be a chief executive. Why would I stay in a place where that talent and drive are neither recognized nor appreciated?

Money of course has long been a major factor in whether or not I could move out of Tucson. If I hadn't just signed another 12 month lease, and if I quit my job today, I'd have enough money from my accumulated PTO cashout to move back across country and survive until I found another job. Depending on where I moved, that probably wouldn't take very long at all. This is a markedly more hopeful outlook than I've had virtually since I moved to this desolate, barren place. I used to feel trapped, but now I can see there is a way out without having to win the PowerBall.

This silver lining-finding is really starting to freak me out. I don't like it. Not one bit.

I guess I'm in a weird place right now. I'm respected and appreciated everywhere except work (and there are many exceptions there, too). And most of the respect and appreciation that I receive - if not all of it - is for what I do at work. So why do I remain the punching bag and laughing stock for most of the ones in control?

Would my leaving Tucson constitute running away (again)? And even if it did, is that so wrong? I deserve to be treated well. If I don't believe I can be treated well and adequately compensated here, why bother sticking around? I've seen this movie. I know how it ends.

It's been almost four years since I made any major life changes. That's a Bachelor's Degree worth of time. Maybe it is time I graduated to the next level.

Of course, I get this way every few months or few weeks or sometimes every few days. It's highly unlikely that I'd follow through at this point, but it's unbelievably freeing to finally realize that I'm not trapped here. I really am a smart, talented guy who could make a go of it just about anywhere, especially an anywhere that is more of a fit with who I am and what I believe than Tucson ever has been.

Off topic: I plan to start posting again soon (no, really!) about my take on some local issues. This blog was never intended to be a forum for my personal rants, but here we have it.