My parents and their friends were down in Tucson today. We went to lunch, then they took me to the Costco to do a little grocery shopping (very little - it's a little hard to buy in bulk when you're eating for one).

I found myself getting triggered left and right. Products at the Costco would remind me of time I've spent and things done with my best friend. That Costco was also the very first place I ate when I moved to Tucson. Not something I'm particularly pleased about, but my dad - who drove the truck cross-country with me - really likes their hot dogs. He took me and my best friend out to lunch there after buying us groceries. It's not romanticized or particularly fun, but it makes for an interesting enough story.

So I'm already missing him, even with the stupid and pointless stuff. Of course, he's here for another few months and I could stop standing on ceremonies. But I'm also still feeling so hurt that I'm not entirely sure I could talk to him yet without lashing out.

I'm just physically and emotionally exhausted at this point. I need to reach some resolution soon or this will continue to tear me apart. It's not something I'm going to just get over. The logical step would be to talk about it. But maybe not just yet...