As near as I can figure (or remember), I came out of the closet for the first time ten years ago today. And what a long, strange trip it's been.

I was just finishing my first semester in college, a difficult and confusing period of adjustment. I was very sheltered and isolated before I left the nest, and spent most of that semester in the dorm's TV lounge, moping around and being anti-social.

But I did manage to make a few friends. One of them, a fellow Freshman named Rose, was in a committed relationship with another woman. She was the first lesbian that I ever met up close and personal. I had never been raised to hate the queers, but I did come from a rural/suburban community, so many of my peers growing up had been.

I remember having latent feelings for some of the guys I knew back home. I just tried to dismiss it as...I don't know what, really. But it was easier to dismiss than risk getting beat up or totally ostracized. Though I was class and student body president, I still wasn't exactly what I'd call popular.

Rose changed my perspective. For the first time, I realized that queer people could be safe, healthy and happy. She was the first person I came out to, going to her room that Wednesday evening before we were to leave for winter break, and confessing that I was bisexual (an identity I would cling to for a couple more years before bringing my other foot out of the closet too). She warmly embraced me and thanked me for finally being honest with her. Like my sister when I would later tell her, Rose already knew - it seemed everybody knew.

Coming out is an incredibly freeing and healthy experience. As Ted Haggard and Michael McGreevy learned over the past few years, doing so in public after repressing your true identity for years can be both painful and destructive. Coming out is also a lifelong process. I no longer identify as bisexual or gay, but as queer. But no label could ever accurately or totally define me. And I honestly don't put a lot of thought into how I present my identity anymore. I don't worry that I'll be judged for or strive to be defined by my sexual orientation. It's just one part of who I am, one brushstroke in the bigger picture.

So how does one celebrate his homoversary? The traditional 10th anniversary gift is tin or aluminum. The modern gift is diamond jewelry. There's a joke to be made in there somewhere, but it's pre-dawn and I'm not in the mood to do that yet.

So today is my homoversary and my last day at the old job. Tomorrow is the first day at my new job, and my birthday is on Sunday. It seems I have a lot to be thankful for and a lot to celebrate this week. Please join me.

Labels: celebration, coming out, homoversary, LGBT, personal