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Tuesday, December 25, 2007

home (for now)

My flight arrived about a half hour earlier than scheduled. Jason and Brandon came to pick me up. I'm home now with a very appreciative and affectionate cat. That helps me be less sad about being back in Tucson.

I have to extend thanks yet again to Miriam for her hospitality throughout the last week, to Damon and Tamara for traveling from Philly to spend time with me, to Marla for helping me ring in my 30's just the way I wanted to, to Debra for the wonderful birthday massage, to Mell for dinner and the great conversation, to Teddi and Jack and David for being so pleasantly surprised to see me, to Mitch for being Mitch, to Hillary for taking care of Leif and taking me to the airport - I literally couldn't have taken my vacation without her, and to Jason and Brandon for being the friendly faces I needed to see when I got back to Tucson.

On the flight home, I kept getting a little teary. Not out of sadness at returning, mind you, though I would rather still be in New York. No, I'm misty even now at the realization at just how lucky I am to have people like these in my life, even if I rarely get to see them. I'm fortunate to have the means to take a trip like this. I'm truly blessed in so many ways, and I'm so fucking grateful for all of it. Cat included (he's sitting next to me purring as I type this).

When I was in JFK waiting to board and searching desperately for New York anything-edible to bring in for my client, I realized why New York's siren song calls to me. There's just an sense there that anything is possible, which, coincidentally, has become my mantra over the past year. It's a hard feeling to hold onto in a place like Tucson, where the options tend to be limited. I'm trying to stay positive here, because I've certainly managed to create wonderful opportunities for myself out here. But am I truly living up to my full potential? Or is there more for me?

My 30's are going to be the best decade yet for me. To make that happen, I have to be positioned appropriately. It's like Tucson is missionary and I like more kink out of life. There's nothing inherently bad about the missionary position - it gets the job done. It's just not always the most fun way to do it, and it's certainly not very imaginative.

I've said it before on this blog, that I moved to Tucson for the wrong reasons. But moving to New York feels so right to me. I'd be moving for me. Now all I need is a job when I get there and at least $5,000 in the bank. How hard can that be?

I should probably just go to bed. I'll upload pictures in the morning. Pinky swear.

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You should probably also thank Graham, the dirty old wanker from the Brooklyn bar, who is also my new best friend.

I miss you and am ready for you to come back.


How could I forget Graham?! Happy Christmas! Just go for it! You should definitely go back to the Last Exit and become a regular. Then I'll always know where to find both you and Mitch.

I miss you and am ready to go back.

Now let me get to those pictures...
Reading this makes me teary because I'm so happy for you but also I will be very sad to see you go, whenever that is. :-(
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