I did it!

And I finished with a bang.

To close out the maha challenge, I decided to take a couple of workshops. That means three hours last night and two and a half hours this morning (classes are usually an hour or hour and a half). There is a special guest instructor, Noah Maze, who used to teach at the studio but moved to L.A. but who is visiting and teaching these workshops all weekend.

A month ago, three hours of yoga probably would have killed me.

Not that it was easy last night or this morning, but the change truly is profound.

And that's not the only reason the experience has been profoundly transformative. It's true that I'm stronger and more flexible than I was 30 days ago. But I also have more clarity of thought, more joy in my attitude and less stress in my life.

Noah talked a lot last night and this morning about how our innate state is perfection, it's not something we strive for because we're already there. And the divine is in everything around us, not just the things we think ("it's in the compost heap and the vegetable garden"). There was much more, but admittedly I'm still a little foggy after the whole experience. I anticipate clarity will return over the next few days.

So I've done it. I challenged myself and I stepped up to that challenge. I started a new year and a new job by upping the physical and emotional ante. These were perhaps higher stakes in retrospect than I was willing to recognize throughout the 30 days. I know it sounds cliche, but I do really feel like a whole new person.

I'll be going to tomorrow night's Kirtan to join in the maha celebration and receive my T-shirt. You should join me to help me celebrate my prodigious accomplishment.

Labels: personal, yoga

I should probably stay home and rest until I kick this nascent cold for good, but I'm so close to the end of the maha challenge I can smell it. Maybe I should do laundry more than once a week.

Tonight's class was nice and small, but I didn't feel like I got much more personal attention than when the class is packed with 40 or more students. I don't know if that means that my alignment is good and I don't need much help or if they think I'm just a lost cause or somewhere in between. Regardless, I'd like a little more feedback. I guess that's what private lessons are for.

We were all about the shoulders tonight. Shoulder stands were the pose of the night. I've always, since I was very young, been able to come into a shoulder stand with ease. I was surprised to find myself at the end of class a little disappointed that we didn't do more hip openers. I guess I've become spoiled by how loose my hips generally are at the end of a practice. That wasn't the case tonight and I missed the feeling.

I feel like I'm pushing this sore throat out as fast as possible. My hope is that it'll be gone for good by morning.

In completely unrelated news, I won a $25 Target gift card today in a door prize raffle at our all-staff half day meeting this morning. They are totally enabling my unhealthy Target habits.

Maybe I'll finally get that scratching post for Leif that I've had my eye on.

Labels: Leif, personal, Target, yoga

There were 42 people in class tonight. That's a lot.

Tonight's teacher is not my favorite: she tends to ramble, which makes maintaining proper alignment in poses until she tells us to release a little frustrating. Still, I should also consider that such practice builds stamina and patience, which are good qualities to cultivate. Her point tonight was something she said her mother always tells her: nothing positive ever happens without struggle or work. Fair enough.

I felt myself getting sick last night (scratchy throat) and that continued through today. Maybe I should have taken a night off to rest. This week has just been packed wall-to-wall with meetings, some of them starting as early as 7:30 AM. I'm so not a morning person. Because I'm also trying to get a lot accomplished at night before bed, this has left me with less sleep than I'm used to. I also worked a half day on Saturday, which means I didn't get a full weekend of rest (and had an early morning that day with a 6:30 AM yoga class).

So I'm making two commitments to myself. In the short term, I will use this weekend to get as much rest as possible and really take good care of myself. In the long term, I will not allow my staff to schedule me for more than three meetings in a day. I know that I'm new and I'm filling a leadership vacuum (sort of), but I refuse to maintain this pace anymore. Next week on look mercifully less busy.

Now that I have a little bit of power, I intend to use it for good - as in my good health.

Labels: health, personal, yoga

Class was crowded but enjoyable tonight. We focused on the first of the Anusara Universal Principles of Alignment, opening to grace. It's always helpful to revisit the basics on a regular basis.

The best part of the night was after class when a fellow student, who recently began attending the more advanced classes and with whom I've became friendly, approached me and said, "you're totally ready for the expanding class." (Expanding is the next level of the Anusara syllabus, more advanced than Basics, which is where I've been since taking up yoga a little more than a month ago) He went on to say that I have grasp of the flow of the practice.

This other student was telling me last night that he had just started going to a couple of the Expanding classes and the pace was more intense but worth it. I wasn't (and am still not) sure about making the leap, but it was definitely quite a compliment and I take it as such. It really made my night.

So maybe I'll take my first Expanding class as a way to celebrate finishing the maha.

Labels: personal, yoga

I know, it's 15 hours after class 25 ended and I should have posted something earlier, but cut me some slack: I had a 7:30 AM meeting and I'm not a morning person. My prep actually had to start the night before and I was still 5 minutes late.

Class was actually wonderful last night, just what I needed. I'd been feeling for the three or four days prior that I was hitting a wall and plateauing. I talked on the phone briefly with Chad shortly before class (he's the one to thank - or to blame - for getting me into the yoga in the first place). I was telling him of my fatigue and he suggested that I should take a day off. I know I should listen to my body, but I was also feeling pretty decent yesterday.

I decided to go to class.

I'm glad I went.

The theme was all about balance, particularly finding balance in asymmetry, which is almost a counter-intuitive concept until you accept that balance and symmetry are not the same thing. I maintained my balance almost entirely throughout the class and tapped into a core strength that I'd forgotten or become blocked from for the few classes prior.

Now with only five classes to go, I feel like I have the extra burst of energy and enthusiasm that I need to get through. My fatigue has seemingly melted away.

I feel good. Even for starting my day at 7:30 AM.

Labels: personal, yoga

I didn't realize yesterday was blog for choice day, but apparently that's what it was. Who knew? Clearly not me.

Anyway, in addition to my post below, here's a great piece by Matt Stoller at MyDD:

As part of blog for choice day, we're supposed to talk about why we're pro-choice. For me, choice is non-negotiable, and though I don't like some of the single issue groups that work in this issue area, it's a core Democratic and progressive value that we must protect at all costs. The right to an abortion is about the right for women to control their own lives, and I won't accept any arguments that suggest that women shouldn't have the right to make very personal decisions or should have to make them in some sort of legal jeopardy. That's just immoral. I'm all for legislation reducing the number of abortions through legal assistance, economic help, and sex education, though I would point out that these tend to decrease all social ills and so I would support them for other reasons as well. But anything that makes the state sanction abortion as anything but an intensely private choice by women (and men to a lesser extent) in a vulnerable and difficult position in their lives is wrong, wrong, wrong.

I don't think I could have said it better myself.

And just to bring the level of the room down a bit, let me just say that pro-choice men are sexy.

Labels: choice, human rights, reproductive freedom, social justice, women's rights

Today marks the 34th anniversary of the Supreme Court's landmark Roe vs. Wade decision that affirmed the basic human right of reproductive freedom in the United States. That's 34 years of fewer health consequences, happier families and women having control over their own bodies. Reason indeed for celebration.

Today also marks the sixth anniversary of the reinstatement of the Global Gag Rule, which bans international reproductive health providers from receiving U.S. dollars if they even so much as think about abortion. How many lives have been lost because of this archaic and draconian Reagan-era rule? Too many to count.

I strongly recommend you read MissLaura's post on DailyKos about today's anniversary. It's long and full of linky goodness.

I'm too young to remember a time pre-Roe, but I know as well as anyone who does remember those times that we're only a slippery slope away from having that most essential of human rights - the right to choose when and how often to procreate - torn from our society.

I should note that neither of Tucson's dailies ran any stories today about the Roe anniversary (or the gag rule anniversary, for that matter). You can write letters to the Star and the Citizen and remind them why the right to reproductive freedom is an essential part of our democracy. Here are some excellent talking points to help you get started.

Labels: choice, human rights, reproductive freedom, Roe, women's rights

Went to my usual 10:30 AM class this morning, which is probably one of my favorite classes all week because of both the small size and the instructor.

I'm definitely plateauing. I'm tired and sore. But I can work through all that because I recognize the positive effects that are manifesting themselves in my life. Also, we did handstands and full wheel backbends this morning, so that always help motivate me.

On a related note, I downloaded my first audio book for my iPod, "Light on Life" by B.K.S. Iyengar, an adaptation of his "Light on Yoga". I'm about halfway through right now, and it's proving to be helpful in my understanding of the underlying philosophy and history of the practice. It's also a lot to take in, and so I can't really type much about it as I'm still digesting it all.

So I have less than a week left in the maha. I plan to get my card framed when I'm done and hang it on a wall. I've never done anything like this before, and despite my fatigue - or maybe because of it - I've never been more proud of myself about anything I've ever done.

Labels: iPod, Iyengar, personal, yoga

I don't think I'll be doing another 6:30 AM class anytime soon. I hardly even remember what happened.

So sadly, there won't be much of a day 23 update today.

In other news, I've become totally addicted to my iPod, and podcasts in particular. On my current podcast playlist: Garrison Keillor's The Writer's Almanac, a bunch of Meditation Station episodes, Merrian-Webster's Word of the Day, The New York Times (weekday highlights, Front Page, Movie Reviews, Theatre Reviews, Washington Report, The Ethicist, and World View), Savage Love (Dan Savage is a lot kinder in his podcast than he tends to be in his column), and The Onion Radio News.

And now I'm going to look for audio books.

Labels: iPod, personal, podcasts, yoga

I didn't have the stamina to write last night's entry, so I'm writing a quick one this morning before the ass-early class that I have to go to because of my board meeting that takes up half my Saturday.

Wow, that sounded cranky.

I was also cranky in class last night when I seemed to be reverting back to my early days of the maha in terms of balance and strength. Poses that just the night before were simple had become a struggle last night. And it was pissing me off.

I realized toward the end of class and continued processing on my way home that I hadn't gotten enough to eat yesterday. Between the Southern Arizona Legislative "Breakfast" (which was little more than fruit and pastry - no protein) and the Roe Luncheon (at which I didn't eat as much as I should've), I hardly got a fraction of the calories and protein and carbs to which my body has now become accustomed.

So my crankiness from last night soon melted away as I accepted that it was a learning experience and I got over the self-anger and disappointment about my wobbles and perceived failures. That's part of the practice - discovering the learning moments and being gentle and forgiving with yourself.

OK, now I'm off to day 23!

Labels: personal, yoga

I went to yoga hour (late class) tonight because I had a work-related event earlier in the evening. I like yoga hour because it's 30 minutes shorter than regular class, which means the pace is a lot quicker to get as much of a workout as the regular class.

Tonight's word of the day was "contentment" (or rather, the Sanskrit word for "contentment"). It was about finding the peace and comfort wherever you are, without reaching or yearning for more. That doesn't mean you stop yearning and striving, it just means you also find harmony with your current position along the way.

I did some pretty deep backbends tonight too, which definitely put me in a content mood. Backbends stimulate those areas of the brain and the glands that secrete the hormones that give you a peaceful and euphoric feeling. It's a good skill to have, really.

The pose of the night was from the expanding syllabus, what from my frame of reference was a modified Vasisthasana (Side Plank Pose), where the top leg gets bent backwards and is held and isometrically pushes into the top hand as the top hand pushes it down into the hip. From my vantage point, I was one of the few people in class who got into the pose and held it. I say that not for competition or to toot my own horn, but as a frame of reference for just how difficult a pose it is and how proud I am of my progress that has given me the strength and balance to maintain it.

As I was lightly meditating during Svasana (Corpse Pose, the final resting pose of any Anusara practice session), I was able to reflect and realize that I am, in fact, quite content with my life right now. I'm certainly not complacent, but things are going well and I'm in a place where things seem on track and moving in a healthy and positive direction.

It's a remarkably good place to be.

Labels: contentment, personal, yoga

Two-thirds of the way through. And it seems like just yesterday I was only one-third of my way there.

Very crowded class tonight. Decent workout, but I don't think I got much out of it spiritually. There was some point about looking inward and shutting off some of the senses to augment others. Part of the practice tonight was done with eyes closed, which was an interesting experience.

There was some particular focus on the intercostals, which was a good stretch. At one point, we were doing a side twist in a lunge with the help of a partner. I essentially was in a forward lunge, twisting pretty much to the point where my back was almost resting on my lunged forward leg. That was pretty cool. I feel totally loose in my side torso right now.

I think I have what's been described to me as "Monkey Mind", usually following meditation. My brain is all over the place, I'm distracted and a little loopy. It happens sometimes apparently when the practice interrupts a lot of other crap going. Not that there's any particular crap, but there's enough, I guess.

Off topic: I bought myself and iPod nano from Amazon.com. They're running a promotion with audible.com where you get a $100 instant rebate off compatible mp3 players when you commit to 12 months of the audible service. I basically got my iPod for less than half price. I never thought that I was much of a music listener, but I have more than 400 mp3's on my computer, so I guess I'm a little more into it than I thought. Since I'll be making lots more trips between Phoenix and Tucson with my new job, this will definitely help with the tedium of those drives. Now I just need to find an FM transmitter that fits my nano. The one I ordered from Amazon with my nano only fits the first generation nanos and mine is second generation. Damn.

Labels: iPod, nano, personal, yoga

Lots of backbends tonight! Woo hoo!

For the first time in maybe a week, I broke a serious sweat and got out of breath tonight. It was a good feeling.

I find I enjoy working with a partner because the goal of partner work is usually to provide more resistance to come deeper into the asana.

Such was the case tonight with Dhanurasana (Bow Pose), wherein my partner Todd (whom Bruce called "Wes" - comic gold) wrapped a strap around my back under my shoulder blades ("where [my] bra strap would be"), sat on the ground, put his feet on my shoulders and extended his legs. This had the effect of extending my back deeper into the bend as I simultaneously lifted from the pelvis and isometrically extended my heart up and forward.

I had a similar experience on Saturday with Bhujangasana (Cobra), where my partner (not Todd/Wes) put pressure down on the backs of my calves so I had more freedom in my upper body. I came into an incredibly deep and effortless backbend. Everyone was duly impressed, me most of all.

The best part of the night though was when we were practicing Urdhva Dhanurasana (Backbend) and I came up into it three times by myself. The best best part though was that we were all doing it up against a wall and since I was in the middle row, I had to find space along the wall with the mirror. When I came up into the backbend each time, there I was staring back at me.

I looked deep in my own eyes, through my heavy breathing and red face, and saw my own inner beauty staring back at me.

Whoa. Heavy.

Labels: personal, yoga

Went to a Golden Globes-watching get-together after class last night, which is why I'm posting day 18's update this morning.

It always feels a little odd to go to an evening class on a day off from work. Still, it was well worth it.

The theme for the class was letting go, melting into your true self. At first blush, we were being instructed to go against all the teaching about alignment that we've been learning and working on. But the truth is that we were focusing on something called "kidney loop" that I'm still not sure I fully understand. The point is, it can feel like it's not what you're supposed to be doing, but you have to learn to let go because it is.

Letting go has never been a particular strength of mine, although I've certainly gotten a hell of a lot better over the past six months. It's probably a good thing to have that encouraged physically, too.

The next two weeks are going to be busy and long for me. I'm finding myself hardly straining at all anymore in class, and yoga is becoming more of a release and a joy than an obligation and an effort. I attribute much of that to my just being present in each moment and not getting frustrated with myself if I lose balance or fall over (which hardly ever happens anymore).

Learning to let go has its advantages.

Labels: letting go, personal, yoga

From Dr. King's remarks in acceptance of the first annual Margaret Sanger Award in April 1966:

In our struggle for equality we were confronted with the reality that many millions of people were essentially ignorant of our conditions or refused to face unpleasant truths. The hard-core bigot was merely one of our adversaries. The millions who were blind to our plight had to be compelled to face the social evil their indifference permitted to flourish.

After centuries of relative silence and enforced acceptance, we adapted a technique of exposing the problem by direct and dramatic methods. We had confidence that when we awakened the nation to the immorality and evil of inequality, there would be an upsurge of conscience followed by remedial action.

We knew that there were solutions and that the majority of the nation were ready for them. Yet we also knew that the existence of solutions would not automatically operate to alter conditions. We had to organize, not only arguments, but people in the millions for action. Finally we had to be prepared to accept all the consequences involved in dramatizing our grievances in the unique style we had devised.

There is a striking kinship between our movement and Margaret Sanger's early efforts. She, like we, saw the horrifying conditions of ghetto life. Like we, she knew that all of society is poisoned by cancerous slums. Like we, she was a direct actionist — a nonviolent resister. She was willing to accept scorn and abuse until the truth she saw was revealed to the millions. At the turn of the century she went into the slums and set up a birth control clinic, and for this deed she went to jail because she was violating an unjust law. Yet the years have justified her actions. She launched a movement which is obeying a higher law to preserve human life under humane conditions. Margaret Sanger had to commit what was then called a crime in order to enrich humanity, and today we honor her courage and vision; for without them there would have been no beginning. Our sure beginning in the struggle for equality by nonviolent direct action may not have been so resolute without the tradition established by Margaret Sanger and people like her. Negroes have no mere academic nor ordinary interest in family planning. They have a special and urgent concern.

This is a meaningful week for both the Civil Rights Movement and the Women's Rights Movement. Today would have been Dr. King's 78th birthday had his life not been cut short by a sniper's bullet in 1968. A week from today, January 22, marks the 34th anniversary of the landmark Roe vs. Wade decision by the US Supreme Court.

Social justice movements have a tendency to put the blinders on and only see our own issues or fight for our own causes. We can all learn from Dr. King's legacy of reaching across boundaries to our natural allies.

United, we all win.

Labels: civil rights, movement-building, social justice, women's rights

Day seventeen. Seventeen days down. Big seventeen. Seventeenarino.

There's really not much to say. Small class, which is always a delight. We did do headstands again today, which you faithful readers know I enjoy. I also did my first shoulder stand today. The inversions are fun. You should really try it sometime.

These maha updates are getting conspicuously shorter and less interesting as I draw nearer to my event horizon. Should I continue to post them or just wait for the extraordinary classes and give updates on those?

Discuss.

Labels: personal, yoga

Good class this morning. I worked some serious balancing mojo on a one-legged forward fold. And with the help of a neighbor, I got into a deep, DEEP cobra pose.

I'm finding myself heaving and shaking much less. I'm also finding the stretches and bends coming much easier. I know I'm still on the very beginning end of the learning curve, but it feels good to fall over or have to rest less often than not.

I don't really have much to add to that. I'm feeling pretty good and it's time to eat something.

Labels: personal, yoga

Yes, halfway done. Somehow, it feels a little disappointing. Part of that is because I'm hooked and don't want it to end. Another part of that is because of today's class.

There's only one evening basic class on Fridays, and I knew I would miss it. Since I was missing it for a work-related event tonight and I have another work-related activity tomorrow, I decided to flex my morning and take this morning's hatha basics class on the east side.

Taught by none other than KGUN 9's Guy Atchley.

The class was extremely low impact. I didn't even break a sweat. I was the youngest person in the class by at least 20 years, and the only male student. It definitely had kind of a Desperate Housewives vibe to it, like those women were really only there to hear Guy say things like "point your buttocks to the Catalina Mountains" or "ver-te-bra by ver-te-bra" (it sounded like there were five extra syllables when he said it) in that newscaster voice of his. I must admit, I did find it a little titillating too.

Hatha is the school of yoga upon which anusara is based. Guy's class is the only one at Yoga Oasis that is purely hatha with no anusara. If I didn't know the difference before, I think I do now. Today's class may as well have been called Stretching 101. It really was not very challenging for me at all. This frustrated me immensely during class.

Then I took a step back to try and find the positive in the situation. Turns out there are a couple.

First off, the low impact was good for my body coming at the halfway mark in the maha. It gave me a chance to rest but still feel as though I was doing something.

The other major benefit that really surprised me is the fact that I got frustrated because I felt like I wasn't getting enough of a workout. That means that I was looking to break a sweat, to feel the burn (though as Bruce says, "no pain, no pain"). I have never before in my life been disappointed when I didn't exert myself enough. This is a major shift for me.

I'm such a jock! OK, maybe that's a bit of a stretch.

I'm off to do a headstand, then go to bed. I need to get some kind of exertion in today.

Labels: personal, yoga

Good class tonight. I felt really connected and strong. Tonight was all about moving through the core and finding the proper alignment. It was good to focus on the most basic elements of the practice.

Tonight was another first for me - a headstand without any outside help. The wall doesn't count. I got up and stayed up on my own. And now that I've been guided through it, I feel comfortable practicing at home. Before I always had this fear that I would break my neck and they'd find my body weeks later, half-eaten by Leif.

After class I had to go to Target. For a legit reason, I swear! Saturday is the birthday of one of my staff members, and I wanted to get her a little something nice. I'm still working on making a good impression. I found myself just calmly winding my way around the store, feeling a deep sense of contentment and none of the usual need to rush that I feel when I'm overstimulated by the bargains and styles that Target has to offer.

When I got home and reflected on that, I realized my calm (and my better-than-usual posture) probably has a lot to do with those headstands I was doing during class. One of the benefits of Sirsasana is that it's supposed to allow you to look at the world from a different angle. Makes sense.

I don't have a whole lot of free wall space, but I may make a point of including this in my daily routine.

One other really fulfilling experience from this class came when we were working on a balancing asana and were asked to pair up with a neighbor. My neighbor was an older woman, probably in her 70's or 80's, and not in the best shape but certainly ahead of the curve compared to many women her age. It was great to work with her and share the pose with her. Our instructions were to support the arm of our partner as she brought it forward, leading her body into a forward bend as her other hand held her other foot close to the hip. I guess my partner couldn't hear the instructions very well, so I ended up talking her through the process of hugging into her core, finding her alignment, finding her balance, and coming into the pose. When she got into the pose on her stronger standing leg, it was a beautiful sight to behold. And I was there with her for the whole thing.

And my parents say they couldn't do it!

Labels: balance, beauty, gift giving, personal, yoga

I just didn't have it in me to post last night after I got home from yoga. It was a long day, I had to wear my corporate drag because of the State of the State address, and then I had a Women's Commission committee meeting at 5:30, which meant I had to go to the late yoga class.

Going to the late class was actually a good thing. Not only did I need it by the time 8:00 PM rolled around, but it was only an hour. It was kind of like a burst of adrenaline.

The theme of the class was contrast. When explained, I don't think contrast was quite the right word, but the concept was understood. The idea was to find something positive about asanas that you don't like or find challenging, or to find more challenges in asanas that you do like or find easy. There was something about the rain in there and deserts, but I'm afraid I slept all that away.

I think I'm getting to the point where I'm hooked. All through my hectic day yesterday, I kept looking forward with eager anticipation to class last night.

That's a lot healthier an addiction than when I tried (and failed miserably) to become an alcoholic a few years ago.

Labels: personal, yoga

Pretty crowded class tonight, though I think it was more crowded last night. There were a couple of people in class with me tonight who I knew BY (before yoga), so that fun to experience them in that environment.

Tonight's theme was about the essence of yoga. Yoga literally means a union, joining or yoking. As Bruce explained it (again, working from memory, I may not have this quite right), it's about matching who you actually are with your perception of yourself and vice versa.

Again, this resonated with me. I've been told time and again that I am frighteningly self-aware. But I've also been criticized - and rightfully so - because I at least know where my weaknesses have historically been, but have done nothing to strengthen myself.

Until now, of course.

It was actually Chad who put it so bluntly and also led me to this door. I opened the door and walked through it myself, but he gave me the kick in the ass in the right direction that I needed.

I think it's fair to say that I'm becoming more a man of action than ever before. I'm working to embody that joining of who I am with who I know I can be.

On a largely unrelated topic: I'm starting to worry a little about my Target spending habits. I had to go there tonight to pick up a few household items. I ended up leaving the store with, among other things, a new bathroom scale that also measures body fat. I've never owned a bathroom scale before, let alone one that measures body fat.

I won't reveal my weight (a lady never tells!), but I'm very pleased to report that I have 7.1% body fat.

Apparently, that's excellent according to the Homedics user guide.

Labels: body fat, personal, self-awareness, Target, yoga

Tonight's class was a little more intense than the past couple of days'. At one point, my thighs really felt like they were on fire. It was an intense stretch. Not surprisingly, tonight's class focussed yet again on opening the hips. While this is getting easier for me and makes a lot more sense, it's still plenty challenging.

Tonight's theme was about finding the balance between ascending and descending energies in the body. Ascending energy helps us discover our own uniqueness. Descending energy allows us to recognize and appreciate all the diversity in the world. Both of these energies are regulated by and flow through the heart. The dichotomy is similar to the inner and outer spiral, two of the five Universal Principles of Alignment in Anusara yoga. At least that's how I'm interpreting the theme from memory.

I also bought a new pair of spandex shorts to wear under my shorts to class yesterday, so my classmates won't have to worry about catching a faceful of my junk should the elasticity of my cotton boxer briefs become too loose.

And the world is better off for that.

Labels: personal, yoga

One-third of the way through!

It does feel easier now than it did even a few days ago. I initially thought that practice both yesterday and today were more gentle than it had been the preceding 8 days, but in retrospect, we were practicing the same asanas for the same amount of time in slightly different orders. Could it be that I'm actually getting stronger and more flexible?

Today's class was nice and small, probably only about 10 people. That allowed for some more individual attention to alignment, which I've been needing. Today's theme was about "making space" in the body and the mind for kindness to ourselves. The self-care-related themes really resonate with me. Self-care - or my historic lack of it - is one of the major reasons I decided to take this challenge.

Oh yeah, I did a handstand today!

I feel pretty good. I'm less sore between practices now than I was a week ago. I feel more connected to my body. My mind doesn't race quite as much.

Even my cat has been more affectionate toward me these past few days.

I'm telling you, you should join me and you won't regret it!

Labels: personal, yoga

Acts of kindness that didn't make much sense when they were performed have a funny way of bringing life into focus years later. That's where this story goes. But to tell the story, I have to start with the new year that just came to pass.

I always keep a calendar in my kitchen on the door to my pantry. Since last year's calendar was now expired, it was time for me to buy a new one. I looked at the calendar kiosk in the mall and in Borders, but none of those calendars struck my eye. I decided a yoga calendar was the way to go, since it might help motivate me to keep up my practice throughout the year.

Onto Amazon.com I went in search of such a calendar, which I found fairly easily. Since I was already ordering from Amazon, I figured I might as well also order a book on Ayurveda that was recommended during that workshop I attended a couple of months ago. As you may know, Amazon comps the shipping if you order $25 or more worth of merchandise.

My two books didn't quite make it, and rather than paying the shipping, I figured I deserved the extra extravagance of another book or DVD or CD. I looked through pages of recommendations that the Amazon software provides, but much like my Borders calendar search, nothing struck my fancy.

Then I remembered my friend Chris back in Ithaca. OK, to be fair, we were a little more than friends, but I won't go into all those illicit details here. Chris is an artist and poet of sorts, and always seemed to be on a slightly higher plane of consciousness than me. He always raved about A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers as his all-time favorite book.

I ordered Chris' favorite book because I also recently discovered how his perspective has come to have meaning in my life. Chris and I actually only met in person two or three times, but each time was an intense burst of insight and inspiration (and, admittedly, physical delight). We hooked up one last time about a week before I moved to Tucson. I drove out to his home in one of the rural towns in upstate New York whose name I can't even remember anymore.

After a walk out into the woods to some of his favorite meditation spots, and after enjoying some more carnal pleasures in his bedroom, he presented me a painting he made for me. For years I've been struck by the kindness of the gesture, but never understood the inscription until very recently.

The painting's title is "TREE" and it hangs right next to my front door. It's a mottled maroon background with a meditating figure encapsulating the OM symbol on top and a Japanese character for "tree" on the bottom.

On the back of the painting, Chris wrote:

"TREE"

For Michael

From Chris

June 22, 2002

- Remember that change is inevitable and it can only, eventually, manifest itself as strength -- and fear that preceeds (sic) change is simply excitement for what is about to be, overwhelming you -- you are the master of your direction -- the creator of your own reality

Be well
- CHRIS

The inscription makes so much more sense to me today than it did four and a half years ago. I've long since lost touch with Chris, but his words and his painting now inspire me more than I ever would have expected during our brief friendship. Even in my darkest hours right after moving to Tucson, those words never rang as true as they do today.

I understand more now about change, strength, fear and reality than at any time before now. And as Chris' succinct wisdom those years ago now finds meaningful manifestation in my life, I dedicate my yoga practice in part to him.

Labels: change, fear, friendship, personal, reality, strength, yoga

Today's class was thankfully very gentle. I do still feel sore, but I was able to move through the asana practice with relative ease. It's all part of honoring my practice and where I am in my practice.

Hillary couldn't make it today, something about dogs and emergencies. I hope her pooches are OK.

I'm starting to recognize and be recognized by other people in these classes, some who are also taking the maha challenge and some who are not. It's good to not feel quite as much like the odd man out anymore.

I think I'm going to go lie down and read. Maybe take a nap. I'm thinking of maybe going to see a movie later. If you're interested in joining me and know how to reach me, please do.

Labels: personal, yoga

I can't believe I started my second week of the challenge tonight!

Class was very crowded. I'm coming to appreciate the grumpy looks on the faces of some of the more experienced students. On the other hand, whateeeeeever.

I'm finding that I enjoy backbends and don't particularly enjoy the sun salutation asanas. That was unexpected. Give me a little Utrasana (camel pose) or Navasana (boat pose) or even Urdhva Dhanurasana (full backbend) any day.

I'm also happy to say that Hillary will be joining me for another class in the morning. She wins a prize for taking the plunge with me. I don't know what that prize will be yet besides the natural glow of a good workout and inner peace, but I'll think of something.

Speaking of glow, I met Hillary and some other friends and acquaintances after class at the Surly Wench. A casual acquaintance, who I rarely see, remarked upon my telling her I've taken up yoga, "that explains the glow!"

I didn't even feel as glowing tonight as I have after other classes, so it was reassuring to hear that kind of unsolicited comment.

I should get to bed because tomorrow's class is a morning one and my muscles need as much rest as they can get to recuperate.

Speaking of which, lean muscle is damn hot. I'd so do me.

Labels: personal, yoga

One week down!

I was in Phoenix most of the day today, and I didn't make it back in time for the regular basics classes at 6:00 on the east side or 6:15 central. So I ended up going to the "yoga hour" class from 8 to 9 PM. Even though I was tired and grumpy, which is the by-product for me of traveling to Phoenix.

I'm glad I went to class and proud of myself that I pushed myself to fill out the week. I enjoyed the slightly shorter class (classes are usually an hour and a half). There were no breaks or lengthy explanations or tedious explorations of the theme. Speaking of the theme, tonight's was the word "journey". This seemed fitting to me given the physical journey I made to Phoenix today and the other journey that I pushed myself to continue tonight by going to class in the first place.

Not much else to report right now. It's about time for me to go to bed so I can be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for work in the morning.

I feel sore but good.

Labels: journey, personal, yoga

From a comment I just posted over on Rum, Romanism and Rebellion:

Currently, people with disabilities are paid using a fuzzy formula that calculates their pay rate based on their functional ability to do the jobs assigned to them. My understanding is the hubbub is mostly centered on people with developmental disabilities who live in institutional settings or group homes and spend their days in sheltered workshops or "dayhab" centers. The items they produce in these settings are sometimes sold as a means to support the organizations providing these jobs for people with developmental disabilities.

The people with developmental disabilities who are the focus of this debate probably have never bought their own loaf of bread. Just the same, they deserve the same rights and basic human dignity as anyone else. The Arc's argument about the minimum wage applying to everyone helping people with developmental disabilities integrate into the larger community is spot-on. This is a group of people who are hidden from the public, often incorrectly assumed to be 'useless', 'unproductive', 'asexual', or worse.

Truth is, given the opportunity, many (if not most) people with developmental disabilities could and would lead very productive, happy and healthy lives. Part of the way to achieve that goal is to allow them access to the same resources as their peers without developmental disabilities.

Frankly, the fact that there's even a debate about this seems silly to me.

I guess you can take the boy out of the 'disability project' but you can't take the 'disability project' out of the boy...

Labels: accessibility, equality, human rights, minimum wage, people with disabilities

One-fifth of the way through!

And almost an entire week in...

There wasn't so much a specific theme to tonight's class, which was mercifully a little smaller still than the night before. Maybe Wednesday is the night most people take off.

Instead of a theme or meditation, Mira asked for three or four poses that the more experienced students had trouble with a year ago. It was an interesting approach to class and proved ultimately rewarding.

My stamina had been waning the past few days, so today I made a conscious effort to give my body as much fuel as I could stomach. That meant a bowl of cereal for breakfast, a mid-morning Clif bar, a tempeh sandwich and pita chips with hummus for lunch, and another Clif bar in the late afternoon shortly before leaving the office. I've also restarted my daily multi-vitamin and I've started taking l-lysine, which is an essential amino acid not naturally produced by the human body.

Those of you who know me are probably wondering what the hell is going on with me. I've never been so focused on my health. Hell, I've never even thought about my health.

I've been goading and prodding many of you to join me on this auspicious journey, and I'm doing so because I think you would reap many of the same benefits that I am discovering - physically, emotionally and spiritually - along with some benefits that would be unique to you.

In the past week, I've had one friend who I don't see very often ask me if I've gotten taller. Another friend has told me I'm totally changed and happy (and that she misses the old 'gloomy Gus' - thanks a lot, Melissa!).

You don't have an excuse not to join me. I just started a new job and have been thrust into a full schedule of meetings upon meetings, so "I don't have time" won't fly.

I'm essentially a 130 pound weakling who's discovering strength I never knew I had, so "I'm too tired at the end of the day" doesn't hold water.

There are people of all shapes, sizes and ability levels in classes - many just as wobbly and red-faced as me, so "I'd be embarrassed about how I'd look" is totally without merit.

Come on, challenge yourself. It'll be good for your body and good for your soul. And it'll be fun to share this experience with you.

That said, don't do it for me.

Do it for you.

And as we say, Namaste.

Labels: challenge, personal, self-care, yoga

The fatigue has officially set in.

Class was not quite as crowded tonight as it was over the holiday weekend. It still got plenty hot in the studio though.

Tonight's theme was truth, specifically being honest about and truthful to oneself. OK, I can do that. In fact, I'm self-aware to a fault. No need to rehash all of that in this post.

The closing thought that we were left with tonight was something along the lines of, "the truth is, we're all incredibly powerful." I can't argue with that. It's just a matter of tapping in or rediscovering our innate personal power. Despite my muscular fatigue, I do think the yoga practice is helping me tap into my power core.

To tell the truth (as tonight has left me compelled to do), I was rethinking this 30 day challenge. I'm not used to feeling such fatigue. I soon realized after leaving class tonight that I was absolutely famished, despite eating three meals today, including one right before class.

My body is not used to burning so much energy or exerting itself so strenuously and consistently. My truth for tonight is that until now, I haven't taken very good care of myself. If I start doing that, start giving my body all the fuel it needs to carry on, the practice will get easier (but no less challenging) and I will come out the other end much stronger, happier and more centered.

So with this post I recommit myself to this thirty day challenge and the accompanying transformation I'm welcoming into my life.

Besides, I'm already one-sixth of the way through!

Labels: personal, truth, yoga

After spending a leisurely day doing not very much, I really didn't feel like going to class. But I went.

As it has been for the past few days, the place was packed. We'll see what happens tomorrow when we're off a holiday schedule and the traditional work week starts to pick back up.

Tonight's theme was icha, the universal burning desire for transformation. I definitely felt the physical burn tonight, especially in my legs. I think part of it is fatigue. I guess yoga every day will do that, even if it's still been only about half a week.

Despite the fatigue, I am definitely noticing progress. I am now able to spread my hips and touch the floor in Uttanasana, standing forward bend. A week ago, I had to use blocks on their highest stance.

If I can keep progressing noticeably like this, I will gladly work through the muscular burn as it keeps fueling my inner burning.

After all, my burning desire for transformation, my icha, is greater than my burning calves and thighs.

Labels: personal, transformation, yoga

Happy New Year!

I have high hopes for 2007, especially after the roller coaster that was 2006. Still, I have no regrets about the year that was.

At the party I attended last night, we each wrote down three wishes for the coming year, then burned them to send them out into the universe. In class yesterday, we set our intention not just for class, but for the year.

Setting a tone thusly can only yield positive results. It sure beats how I've spent the past five or six new year's eves: home, alone, drinking a vodka and cranberry, watching the ball drop in Times Square and singing both verses of Auld Lang Syne by myself from a 1935 songbook.

This is going to be a momentous year, I can feel it. And what a difference a year makes. I went back yesterday and read my first post of 2006. It was morose and full of self-pity. In hindsight, that really set a horrible tone for the following 12 months.

So I wish all my readers the same love, light, health and happiness that I intend and wish to bring to myself.

It's going to be one hell of a great year!

Labels: hope, new year, personal