There are probably about two people who missed it and are out of town and haven't heard and also happen to care a whit, but Tucson's two domestic violence organizations have merged and unveiled the new organization identity on Thursday morning:


(clicking on the link brings you to the full size image and the home of one of the parent orgs)

I like this name and logo a lot. I think the research paid off - more than 600 stockholder surveys and 6 or 7 focus groups.

I spent the last eight or so months as Interim Development Director for one of the parent organizations, so I witnessed firsthand and participated in the merger process, which will continue for a while to come.

It feels good to see the nascent merged organization start off on the right foot. I wish them all the best.

Labels: anti-violence, change

My flight arrived about a half hour earlier than scheduled. Jason and Brandon came to pick me up. I'm home now with a very appreciative and affectionate cat. That helps me be less sad about being back in Tucson.

I have to extend thanks yet again to Miriam for her hospitality throughout the last week, to Damon and Tamara for traveling from Philly to spend time with me, to Marla for helping me ring in my 30's just the way I wanted to, to Debra for the wonderful birthday massage, to Mell for dinner and the great conversation, to Teddi and Jack and David for being so pleasantly surprised to see me, to Mitch for being Mitch, to Hillary for taking care of Leif and taking me to the airport - I literally couldn't have taken my vacation without her, and to Jason and Brandon for being the friendly faces I needed to see when I got back to Tucson.

On the flight home, I kept getting a little teary. Not out of sadness at returning, mind you, though I would rather still be in New York. No, I'm misty even now at the realization at just how lucky I am to have people like these in my life, even if I rarely get to see them. I'm fortunate to have the means to take a trip like this. I'm truly blessed in so many ways, and I'm so fucking grateful for all of it. Cat included (he's sitting next to me purring as I type this).

When I was in JFK waiting to board and searching desperately for New York anything-edible to bring in for my client, I realized why New York's siren song calls to me. There's just an sense there that anything is possible, which, coincidentally, has become my mantra over the past year. It's a hard feeling to hold onto in a place like Tucson, where the options tend to be limited. I'm trying to stay positive here, because I've certainly managed to create wonderful opportunities for myself out here. But am I truly living up to my full potential? Or is there more for me?

My 30's are going to be the best decade yet for me. To make that happen, I have to be positioned appropriately. It's like Tucson is missionary and I like more kink out of life. There's nothing inherently bad about the missionary position - it gets the job done. It's just not always the most fun way to do it, and it's certainly not very imaginative.

I've said it before on this blog, that I moved to Tucson for the wrong reasons. But moving to New York feels so right to me. I'd be moving for me. Now all I need is a job when I get there and at least $5,000 in the bank. How hard can that be?

I should probably just go to bed. I'll upload pictures in the morning. Pinky swear.

Labels: celebration, challenge, change, friendship, hope, Jason, Miriam, moving, New York, sex, strength, success, Tucson

I've had this post brewing for some time, but only felt inspired to write it after watching some of the Logo/HRC debate and reading some of the coverage of it.

This starts with same-sex marriage. Those who know me or who have been faithful readers for a few years know that I don't think much of this issue. It's not a make or break issue for me in a candidate, and it's really not a very pressing issue to me in general, except in fighting back attempts to make same-sex marriage illegal because that's a dangerous slippery slope that could become a gateway to limiting other rights.

And I'm not at all saying that marriage is a basic right or a basic need. That would be silly. Basic needs are food, shelter and safety. Basic rights are those found in the Constitution and its amendments. Same-sex marriage should be legal, but it's not exactly life or death.

So this brings me to my point. Most of the Democratic candidates who participated in the Logo/HRC 'debate' said they did not support marriage equality and used the excuse that "the country just isn't ready yet" or "we're just not there yet" as justification.

Poppycock.

How can you know if you're not ready for something unless you try it and see? And why does 'the country' (code for heterosexual moderates) have to be ready for something that has absolutely no impact on their individual lives anyway?

If my yoga practice has taught me anything, it's that we are capable of doing so much that we might not have otherwise thought possible until we tried. Massachusetts has not fallen into the Atlantic, people aren't dying in the streets in Boston and Amherst and Waltham (shout out to my Brandeis reader!). How were Massachusett-ians(?) any more or less 'ready' for same-sex marriage than anyone else in this country?

It's not that 'we're not there yet' or that 'the country isn't ready'. There may be a lot of people, perhaps even a clear majority, of American voters who are still a little uncomfortable with marriage equality. But is it really fair to use their mild discomfort (and it really is mostly mild according to polling) as an easy out to restrict some rights from one group of citizens?

If you're personally uncomfortable with something, own up to it. Don't hide behind some amorphous nonsense excuse about how other people may or may not feel about the issue. And once you've done that, get over yourself. Seriously. Whatever happened to the greater good?

There were a lot of timid politicians who said that the country wasn't ready for women to vote prior to 1920, or that we just weren't there yet in 1963, a year before Congress passed and President Johnson signed sweeping Civil Rights reforms into law.

You know what? It turns out the United States populace was actually ready for those and other major advances. We just didn't know it till we tried it.

The U.S. democracy has always been a great experiment. There have been lots of rocky points along the way, especially at those times when the oppressed aggressively sought fairness and justice. But the Union endured, just as it will when some politicians with backbones finally grow a pair, pass sweeping pro-equality laws, and the country once again realizes that same-sex marriage, much like interracial marriage before it, is really no big deal.

And on that note, I'll also encourage you, my faithful reader, to try something - anything - you never thought you could do. Stepping out of your comfort zone can be a wonderfully freeing and enlightening experience.

And you don't even need to attend a yoga class with me to prove it.

Open to grace.

Labels: challenge, change, civil rights, equality, fear, history, human rights, LGBT, opening to grace, Pres-08, social justice, yoga

I posted my updated resume to the site; there's a link on every page of m2powered.com. Please refer any prospective employers here.

I'm also going to update the writing samples page to include my guest opinion on pay equity from a couple of weeks ago. That link also appears on every page of this site.

Labels: career, change, equality, jobs, personal

Today is the fifth anniversary of the day my dad and I drove into Tucson from our last stop in Las Cruces, NM in the big yellow truck that carried all my earthly belongings.

I'm having a little bit of a hard time believing that I've stayed in Tucson this long. That day five years ago was filled with such hope and excitement and that nauseating sense of, "oh fuck, what have I just done?!"

For a variety of reasons, I've never particularly loved this place. I just don't find the desert beautiful, as so many transplants do. To me, it's just barren, boring dirt. And the sunsets don't wow me either. They're nice, sure, but they're no better than sunsets in Hawaii or Ithaca.

I don't relish being so down on Tucson. I'm trying to look for the good (it's part of the "flowing with grace" part of my yoga practice), and for the most part, the good is in the people I've met here. They're the reason I've made it through five years here. I'm grateful, even blessed, to count some truly wonderful people as my friends (even if some of them moved away and left me here - you know who you are!).

I'd like to not be here in another five years, but who knows what the future holds? If I'm to make another major move, I intend to do it differently, to have a job lined up, and to do it for concrete and valid reasons.

My life is pretty good. But it could be and deserves to be great. I've taken lemons and made lemonade in the five years I've been here, but I can't help but remind myself that I'm not following my own advice by staying here:

When the world gives you lemons, don't make lemonade; take those lemons back and demand the apples you wanted in the first place.

The time may be ripe for me to start making some apple cider.

Labels: change, contentment, fear, friendship, jobs, moving, not really newsworthy, opening to grace, personal, relationships, self-awareness, self-care, success, Tucson

Work has been busy lately, and I'm really loving every minute of it. But that usually means staying as late as possible at work before heading off to yoga.

Tonight was no exception, except I had to stop by the real estate listing place to get an updated list since they didn't have anything new last week when I stopped by. One of our interns and I were the last two people in the admin side of the building. I should have received my access code clearance to set and turn off the alarm weeks ago, but something got lost and our HR coordinator had to call the alarm company to have them resend it this week. So the intern and I had to leave before the health care staff closed down the building.

I arrived at the real estate place, got my list, and realized I had left my cell phone back at the office. My yoga class was to start in about 20 minutes. I could go back to my office with the hope that health care staff would still be there and I could get in and out the building to grab my phone. Or I could just go without my cell phone for a night and go to yoga.

You can guess what choice I made.

I felt like I had a mini-breakthrough in Friday's class when the teacher chose me to demonstrate a hip opener. It was the first time I've been asked to demonstrate anything for the class since I started practicing, so it was an honor for me. I had a lackluster practice on Sunday morning because I didn't eat breakfast before class, and I had to skip last night's class because of another commitment, so I was really looking forward to getting back on my mat and giving myself over to the practice.

Some of my co-workers have brought up and asked me about my yoga practice over the past couple of days, which has also made me feel good about it. On Monday, our health care staff had a half day meeting, which I attended as a way to get to know them a little better and learn a bit more about service delivery. About halfway through, my VP counterpart on the health care side pulled me aside and asked if I'd lead some basic yoga exercises during their break before the section of the meeting on self-care. I happily agreed.

I didn't ultimately get to lead the abridged class because they ran out of time, but it did give me a chance to reflect on what I would have said and done. I discovered, as I sat there half-listening to the presentation on Gardasil, that I actually knew pretty much all I'd need to know to lead a short basic class, down to the foundational principles of the style of yoga I practice and the Sanskrit names of the basic asanas I would have worked through with them. Even though we were short on time yesterday, I was asked if I would lead a class or two in the future. I'm no teacher, but I can help lead folks through some of the basics.

Shortly before I left the office today, I got into a conversation with one of my staff members about my yoga practice. Again, I found myself speaking knowledgeably and providing a little education to my co-worker. It was surprising and wonderful.

So with the past two days of yogic revelations as a backdrop, I was pumped for class. I made small talk with my classmates, as I've become friendly with several of the other regulars. The woman who teaches the class I attend on Saturdays was also attending tonight's class and gave me a hug when she saw me. I felt a great sense of belonging, of connection that I had yet to feel since I started practicing about three months ago.

The opening lesson was about finding our edge and maybe pushing past it. Finding our boundaries of comfort, and then taking a step beyond, not just in asana practice, but in every aspect of life. Going all the way, giving yourself fully to whatever your task may be. With that in mind and as the foundation of tonight's class, I went whole hog.

I received multiple compliments from classmates and tonight's teacher alike on my Pincha Mayurasana. I got up effortlessly and was able to balance away from the wall for longer than ever before. After class, the teacher who hugged me before class made it a point to come over to me as I was rolling up my mat to tell me I had a beautiful Dhanurasana. I was deeply flattered. Then a couple of classmates and I got into some small talk as we were leaving and one of them insisted I meet her husband.

So I'm glad I decided to let go and learn to push past my edge. I think I have a solid understanding now of "opening to grace," which is the first of the five Universal Principles of Alignment that is the basis of this style of yoga.

Now I just need to figure out how to wake up in the morning, since I use my cell phone as my alarm clock...

Labels: challenge, change, contentment, endurance, journey, opening to grace, personal, self-awareness, self-care, strength, yoga

Acts of kindness that didn't make much sense when they were performed have a funny way of bringing life into focus years later. That's where this story goes. But to tell the story, I have to start with the new year that just came to pass.

I always keep a calendar in my kitchen on the door to my pantry. Since last year's calendar was now expired, it was time for me to buy a new one. I looked at the calendar kiosk in the mall and in Borders, but none of those calendars struck my eye. I decided a yoga calendar was the way to go, since it might help motivate me to keep up my practice throughout the year.

Onto Amazon.com I went in search of such a calendar, which I found fairly easily. Since I was already ordering from Amazon, I figured I might as well also order a book on Ayurveda that was recommended during that workshop I attended a couple of months ago. As you may know, Amazon comps the shipping if you order $25 or more worth of merchandise.

My two books didn't quite make it, and rather than paying the shipping, I figured I deserved the extra extravagance of another book or DVD or CD. I looked through pages of recommendations that the Amazon software provides, but much like my Borders calendar search, nothing struck my fancy.

Then I remembered my friend Chris back in Ithaca. OK, to be fair, we were a little more than friends, but I won't go into all those illicit details here. Chris is an artist and poet of sorts, and always seemed to be on a slightly higher plane of consciousness than me. He always raved about A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers as his all-time favorite book.

I ordered Chris' favorite book because I also recently discovered how his perspective has come to have meaning in my life. Chris and I actually only met in person two or three times, but each time was an intense burst of insight and inspiration (and, admittedly, physical delight). We hooked up one last time about a week before I moved to Tucson. I drove out to his home in one of the rural towns in upstate New York whose name I can't even remember anymore.

After a walk out into the woods to some of his favorite meditation spots, and after enjoying some more carnal pleasures in his bedroom, he presented me a painting he made for me. For years I've been struck by the kindness of the gesture, but never understood the inscription until very recently.

The painting's title is "TREE" and it hangs right next to my front door. It's a mottled maroon background with a meditating figure encapsulating the OM symbol on top and a Japanese character for "tree" on the bottom.

On the back of the painting, Chris wrote:

"TREE"

For Michael

From Chris

June 22, 2002

- Remember that change is inevitable and it can only, eventually, manifest itself as strength -- and fear that preceeds (sic) change is simply excitement for what is about to be, overwhelming you -- you are the master of your direction -- the creator of your own reality

Be well
- CHRIS

The inscription makes so much more sense to me today than it did four and a half years ago. I've long since lost touch with Chris, but his words and his painting now inspire me more than I ever would have expected during our brief friendship. Even in my darkest hours right after moving to Tucson, those words never rang as true as they do today.

I understand more now about change, strength, fear and reality than at any time before now. And as Chris' succinct wisdom those years ago now finds meaningful manifestation in my life, I dedicate my yoga practice in part to him.

Labels: change, fear, friendship, personal, reality, strength, yoga